The Lord’s Prayer: Forgive Us Our Trespasses. . . .
Matthew 5:44-45; 6:12, 14-15
March 19, 2021

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.

Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Or as we heard a few minutes ago from The Message translation: Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.

Whichever version we use when we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we’re saying the same thing – or maybe I should say the same two things. This line of the Lord’s Prayer expresses two sides of the same coin.  One side acknowledges that we need to be forgiven. The other side reminds us that we also need to forgive. 

Forgiveness is a basic part of Christian teaching and discipleship, right?    Jesus taught and preached about it often, and he practiced what he preached. Remember that one of the last things he said on the cross was “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”  In his book on the Lord’s Prayer Adam Hamilton writes this about forgiveness: “It would be difficult to overstate its importance in the ministry of Jesus, for our world, and in our lives. Without forgiveness our world is left with vengeance and retribution. In our spiritual life, without forgiveness we’re left with a life of guilt and alienation from God. Without forgiveness in our interpersonal lives, no marriage can survive, no friendship will endure, and humanity is condemned to bitterness, resentment, anger, and hate.”   …  

Wow. Forgiveness is powerful, isn’t it?  And it leads to good things, good results.  Practicing forgiveness is not just essential for a follower of Christ; it is also beneficial for everyone involved.

But…. There’s always a but isn’t there? ....  Just because forgiveness is essential for followers of Christ and just because forgiveness benefits everyone, doesn’t mean it comes easy to us.  As C. S. Lewis wrote: “Everyone says forgiveness is a lovely idea, until they have something to forgive….”

Can you relate to that?  I sure can.  When it’s our turn to forgive, how many times do we look for a loophole? Our list of offenses that need forgiveness can range from hurt feelings to a betrayal of trust to abuse to killing a loved one, but big or small, we often look for an excuse not to forgive.   They’re not really sorry, so how can I forgive them? …  Nobody could be expected to forgive that. …  It wouldn’t be fair for them to get away with what they did.  … How can anyone expect me to forget what happened? ….  Haven’t we all said things like that as a reason not to forgive someone?

But looking more closely at those “loopholes” makes me think that maybe we’re confused about what forgiveness means.  

Most of the time, I think, we assume that forgiveness must mean we have no standards for right and wrong, and forgiving someone for a wrong action is the same as condoning their action. Or we think that forgiving someone for something they did or said is like saying the harmful word or deed didn’t matter. No wonder we have trouble forgiving if that’s the case.

Actually, forgiveness means just the opposite. If what people do and say didn’t matter, if there were no difference between right and wrong, if there were no standards for fairness and justice, there would be no need for forgiveness.  The very idea of forgiveness means that something has been done that should not have been done. And that wrongdoing, that misdeed, that crime, that sin, that debt, that trespass, that whatever-we-call-it has very real and painful repercussions and consequences.

And forgiveness does not magically erase those repercussions and consequences. It doesn’t excuse the wrong that was done. It doesn’t do away with the need to make amends. It doesn’t do away with the need to face the legal consequences if laws were broken. 

Forgiveness doesn’t always mean forgetting either, and it doesn’t necessarily mean reconciliation. Forgetting and reconciliation between two parties may occur, but if so, they are bonus benefits of forgiveness, not part of the basic plan. An abused person, for instance, doesn’t have to go back and live with the abuser as a sign of forgiveness.

In a very real sense, forgiveness has more to do with us than with the person we’re forgiving. Forgiveness has to do with our inner life, our feelings, the state of our soul, our spirit. Forgiving someone – or not – determines what kind of baggage we choose to carry around with us and what we choose to lay down and leave behind.  When someone wrongs us, it is natural for us to feel anger and hurt and resentment and desire for revenge. Forgiveness means choosing to let that bitterness go, to leave those ill feelings behind, to let go of wanting retribution.

And forgiveness works the same way from the other side. When we have wronged someone, we feel guilt and remorse mixed with a prideful reluctance to admit we were wrong.  Asking forgiveness means choosing to be humble, to admit our wrong, to show remorse, to make amends, to lay down the bundle of guilt that weighs us down from the inside out.   

Adam Hamilton came up with a great metaphor for this that I’d like to share.  Picture the feelings of anger and resentment and bitterness and guilt and remorse and pride as rocks or stones, some small, some big.   Now imagine wearing a backpack and gradually filling it up with more and more stones, a pebble of annoyance here, a chunk of guilt there, a boulder of bitterness.  As long as we choose to withhold forgiveness – or as long as we refuse to ask for forgiveness – we’re filling our backpacks with rocks, and they get heavier and heavier.   

Lack of forgiveness drags our spirits down – literally – and affects us mentally and physically also.  Holding a grudge is exhausting work for body, mind, and soul. I heard somewhere that holding a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die. What a relief it is to leave those stones behind.  What a relief to lay that burden down and forgive as we have been forgiven.  What a relief and a blessing to continue our faith journey and walk on, unburdened, in the steps of Jesus.  That is what forgiveness means.

As I’ve been talking about forgiveness this morning, I have not told any stories or used many examples. I’ve done that on purpose so that you could fill in with your own story and use your own life and experience as examples. I know that every person here has some experience with forgiveness or the lack of it.  I hope you have been thinking about your own story and will continue to do so as we move on.

“Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”  

Forgive us . . . as we forgive. Is Jesus really saying that God won’t forgive us unless we forgive others?  Short answer: Not exactly.  There is a connection between God forgiving us and our forgiving others, but I don’t think it’s a  tit-for-tat bargain. 

In the first place, that would make God’s mercy dependent on ours. It would put us in charge of mercy. And I don’t know about you, but to me that’s a scary thought – that the amount of God’s mercy would be defined or limited by the amount of mercy I have. . . Lord, have mercy. . . .  Thank goodness, God’s mercy comes first.

 More importantly, a tit-for-tat forgiveness bargain would be like God saying “I will forgive you on one condition – that you forgive others first.”  That isn’t forgiveness; that’s a warning, a veiled threat, even. And it would completely nullify the idea of grace.

 I remember reading somewhere that “Christ died for us while we were yet sinners.”  Do you remember reading that? “Christ died for us while we were yet sinners.” Before we even knew about forgiveness.  God’s mercy comes first. That is grace.  As we sang earlier:                        “Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that will pardon and cleanse within.

 “Grace, grace, God’s grace, grace that is greater than all our sin.”

Grace is a good and powerful thing, isn’t it?  Reminds me of forgiveness.

Once we have known God’s grace, how can we not be gracious to others? Once we have tasted God’s mercy, how can we not extend mercy to others? Once we have been forgiven by God, how can we not forgive others?  How can we ask God to do for us something we are unwilling to do for others?  How can we receive without wanting to give – to give to others as good as we got. . .from God.

This, I think is the connection Jesus wants us to recognize when we pray this prayer. God’s forgiveness changes us. Praying for forgiveness softens our unforgiving spirits.  Being forgiven by God enables us to forgive others.

It’s kind of a package deal.  Forgiven and forgiving. Two sides of the same coin.  We can’t have one side without the other. There’s no such thing as a one-sided coin. . .  And in this case at least, no such thing as a one-sided prayer. Forgive us, Lord . . . as we forgive others.

That’s what Jesus taught us to say. Let’s resolve to pray it just that way whenever we need forgiveness and whenever we need to forgive someone else.